1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,958 (narrator) This is the headquarters 4 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,916 of an Italian mega-firm of the 80s. 5 00:01:53,125 --> 00:01:56,833 The country's crisis and the galloping devaluation 6 00:01:57,041 --> 00:02:00,791 they finally generated in the white-collar class 7 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:06,750 a new, incredible, morbid attachment to work. 8 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:45,083 (in English) Eight, seven, six, five, 9 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:49,625 four, three, two, one. Go! 10 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:06,041 - Raise the sheets! - The sheets! 11 00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,875 (Filini) Arrighi. Genoese. 12 00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:18,916 Azzarita. Attanasio. 13 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,166 Fantesi. 14 00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,791 Badalamenti. 15 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,041 Infantrymen. 16 00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:41,958 Castellazzi. Fantini, Borghesio. 17 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,500 Luciani. 18 00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:52,250 - Good night. (together) Goodnight! 19 00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:54,875 - Hello lads! - Until tomorrow. 20 00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:06,416 Fantozzi. 21 00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:24,791 How are you doing, accountant? Everything OK? Everything is fine? 22 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,583 Wait. Works. I only have one very slight discomfort in the knees. 23 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,916 - The knees. - Okay. 24 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,333 The fine? 25 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,458 - Here, good woman. - I'm your wife, Ugo. 26 00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:58,041 Sorry, Pina! I didn't recognize you. 27 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,416 I was joking. 28 00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:07,541 - Why are you here? - I came to get you. 29 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:10,750 Let's go to the cinema or window shopping? 30 00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:14,083 At the cinema or window shopping? You're crazy. 31 00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:18,291 Let's go home. Mount, quickly! Come on, I'll lose everything. 32 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,208 Come on, quick! 33 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:27,708 In the evening the inhabitants of the city they urgently needed to return home. 34 00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:31,750 (Fantozzi) One free seat! It's mine! 35 00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:39,750 - Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. - Good morning, how are you? 36 00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:45,208 - I step onto the roof of the car. - Face. Until tomorrow! 37 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:52,625 Track! Pina, the keys! 38 00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:56,166 Come on! 39 00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:01,625 - Permission, ma'am. - What ways! 40 00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:11,625 The keys! Holy shit! Give me the keys. 41 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,000 Could you give them to me open? Where is the right one? 42 00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:21,500 Why don't you put a color to recognize her? Paint them! 43 00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:27,875 It's Mariangela, our daughter. 44 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,833 I was joking, I did it to amuse her. 45 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:35,791 - Be careful, I put on the wax! - Warn! 46 00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:38,291 Where is that thing? 47 00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,000 I need it. 48 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:46,416 It was here! It's always been here. 49 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,250 There he is! 50 00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:04,916 Fantozzi, like many other unfortunates, 51 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:10,708 he had been overwhelmed by a new one mortal enemy, the remote control. 52 00:07:10,916 --> 00:07:13,916 Like everyone, he was a remote control addict. 53 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:18,750 During a chilling crisis of abstinence, he had established 54 00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:21,291 the condominium record. 55 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:26,333 380 channel changes in 26 seconds flat. 56 00:07:27,666 --> 00:07:31,666 (woman) Enough, I'll throw it down! (man) I'll kill you! 57 00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,041 Death is better! 58 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,416 - Shall I bring it back? - Give it to me! 59 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:46,500 At a certain time of night, the families retreat defeated. 60 00:07:46,708 --> 00:07:49,708 It's the critical hour, "Forbidden" time, 61 00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:54,250 of "Vietatissimo" and "Super Porno Show". 62 00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:41,416 Wait. 63 00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:07,250 Ah! Ouch! 64 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:23,333 I'll put it here for you. 65 00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:29,666 Ah, "codazzo"... 66 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,333 Open here. 67 00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:42,083 Oh! 68 00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:50,916 (moans of pleasure) 69 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:05,666 Open! Open! I'll give you a hand. 70 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,583 What a girl! 71 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:13,125 Take off your underwear. 72 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,791 Ugo! 73 00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:21,916 No, Pina! 74 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:27,208 I wouldn't want you to think that I and this young lady... Oh God, who is she? 75 00:10:27,416 --> 00:10:29,416 Here, Pina. 76 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:34,625 I was saying the prayers of the evening with this priest. 77 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:40,750 I've been following him for a few evenings and he says extremely interesting things. 78 00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:46,291 Then this priest really does it of miracles. Do you know, Pina? 79 00:10:46,541 --> 00:10:52,625 Pina, do you know what I'm telling you? Tonight I feel a strange fire inside. 80 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:57,500 If we go there, do you know what I'll do? I'll split you open like an apple. 81 00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:01,208 - Yes! - No, don't do that. 82 00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:04,791 It doesn't change, but bitch... 83 00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:16,541 The ski week was one of the most tragic obligatory stages of Fantozzi 84 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:19,208 and his unfortunate colleagues. 85 00:11:19,416 --> 00:11:23,041 Prudently this time they signed up in September, 86 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,291 but their turn had taken in May of the following year, 87 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,708 almost at the beginning of summer. 88 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:32,958 - Phantoms? - He hasn't arrived yet. 89 00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:36,666 He's an asshole. If he doesn't come, better. We are wider. 90 00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,250 - But he paid the fee. - There he is! 91 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,500 Where? 92 00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,125 So, gentlemen, assemble. 93 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:52,541 - Let's go! - Slowly, one at a time. Let's not do business as usual. 94 00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:01,541 - Move, Puccettone. - Is he also deaf? 95 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:07,791 - Excuse me, where are the bunks? - Over there. 96 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000 Where? 97 00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,875 Where? 98 00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,750 (whistle) 99 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:26,208 - Over here, Fantozzi! - Sir, come. 100 00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:30,833 - Come up here and leave. - Mine comrades are on the other side. 101 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:35,083 - He joins them on the train. Give it to me, I'll take care of it. - Watch out for your skis. 102 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:39,541 - Rest assured. - The helmet is very heavy. 103 00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,875 I'll throw it. 104 00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:39,833 Sorry, I lost some sensitivity in the feet. 105 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:44,875 - Finally! There he is. - Accountant Fantozzi, where have you been? 106 00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:48,458 - Then I'll tell you. - Be careful. 107 00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:50,750 - Ah! - I knew it. 108 00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:54,125 - Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. - Floor. 109 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,458 Please! 110 00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:01,333 - Ah! - Excuse me. Excuse me. 111 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,333 We stayed in the restaurant car. 112 00:14:04,541 --> 00:14:07,250 - Now I'm going too. - It's closed now. 113 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,666 - Don't eat anymore. - Already. 114 00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,875 - Is it closed? - Yes. 115 00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,416 There's a station, I'm safe. 116 00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:23,583 - Can you give me a basket? - Right away, sir. 117 00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:26,458 - How much is it? - 9,000. 118 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,875 9,000. Wait. 119 00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:32,958 - Do you have 50,000 lire to change? - Certain. 120 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:39,250 Thank you. Will you give me the change? Because I'm afraid he's leaving. 121 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,791 Let's go! 122 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,375 (whistle) Can you give it to me, please? Part! 123 00:14:45,708 --> 00:14:48,541 You "tell" me! 124 00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:53,458 I... 125 00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:59,583 Ten to you, ten to me. Ten to you and twenty to me. 126 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,083 For 50,000 lire he bought it 127 00:15:02,291 --> 00:15:07,583 plastic fork, knife plastic, plastic cup 128 00:15:07,791 --> 00:15:10,875 and a chicken wing. (whistle) 129 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:13,208 Plastic. 130 00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:21,041 And a bad apple. 131 00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:47,041 - Floor. - The hand! 132 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,916 - What manners are they? - What manners! 133 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:54,041 If he lets me pass... 134 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:58,625 - The foot! - This is my bunk. 135 00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,708 What an effort! 136 00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:06,250 It's really comfortable here. 137 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:10,500 I take off my boots. 138 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:25,125 Sleep peacefully in the morning I'll wake you up half an hour before Ortisei. 139 00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:27,333 (Russian) 140 00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:34,250 There was no need to be calm. Filini it was a competition dorm. 141 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:38,916 But the surveyor Calboni was still there more fearsome for his crowd 142 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:43,291 from the scientific name of "ventilatio intestinalis putrens". 143 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,333 (farts) 144 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:52,375 The air immediately became unbreathable. 145 00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,958 Mom, it stinks! 146 00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:13,250 Puccettone, go to the toilet instead to plague us with your winds. 147 00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:17,833 Are you crazy? You brag to have participated in the championships... 148 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,250 Me? But what are you saying? 149 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,458 Accountant Fantozzi, you can't breathe anymore. 150 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:29,166 - Go outside and vent the air. - You're wrong. 151 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:33,333 - "Go" out, accountant! - There's a misunderstanding. 152 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,333 - Please "get out"! - Go! 153 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:40,791 - Calboni boasted... - When yes that's it, you take a single. 154 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:44,916 Bait! Can't resist! 155 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,708 - Go out! - He's a pig. 156 00:17:47,916 --> 00:17:49,958 - A pig? - Yes. 157 00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,375 But it's you, Calboni... 158 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:57,041 (Calboni) It's hard to breathe here and he plagues us with his gas! 159 00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:01,833 Fantozzi was readmitted to the group only the next morning, 160 00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:06,333 when they made the transfer on the Val Gardena train. 161 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,916 - Here's the snow! - Here we are. 162 00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:25,958 - Down, guys. - I want to throw snowballs. 163 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:29,750 I want to make a puppet. 164 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,458 Excuse me, Filini, where is the snow? 165 00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:40,833 Didn't you read the sign? "Ortisei". 166 00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:45,375 There is always snow in Ortisei. Now the minibus will take us to the snow. 167 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,958 The organization is always perfect. 168 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:51,333 - Filini! - It's him. 169 00:18:51,541 --> 00:18:55,583 - It's this gentleman. - Allows? Accountant Silvio Filini. 170 00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:59,041 There's the hand here. The hand. No. 171 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,958 (German accent) Are you from Italy? - Aren't we in Italy? 172 00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:07,333 - We left yesterday. You didn't know of our arrival? - Certain. 173 00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:12,041 But with you Italians you can't be sure of nothing. All set! 174 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:20,208 Sorry, professor, do you know where the snow is? 175 00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:23,875 Ask stupid questions. 176 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:26,625 Snow does not wait for Italians. 177 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,541 Instead of snow, intelligent alternative holidays. 178 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:36,250 You can do rock climbing school or get to know the folklore of South Tyrol 179 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:40,083 or do a slimming treatment in our clinic. 180 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:44,083 You Italian mafiosi always eat spaghetti. 181 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,250 - For skiing? - No skiing! 182 00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:51,458 Are you having a tantrum, Italian? Alternative holidays, I said! 183 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:58,916 After a horrendous night spent to decide on alternative holidays, 184 00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:04,166 the group split up depending on of tastes and trends. 185 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:09,166 Calboni, Colzi and Filini opted for the rock school. 186 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,333 - Where do I attack? - Force! 187 00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:21,583 Calboni was placed imprudently leader. 188 00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:25,791 Excuse me. (farts) 189 00:20:31,458 --> 00:20:36,791 Fantozzi who had promised Pina to lose at least 5 kilos while skiing, 190 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000 he decided for alternative weight loss. 191 00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,791 He will recover in the very modern clinic 192 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,041 to follow the famous diet by Professor Birkermaier 193 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:52,458 from the University of Jena. (German accent) Eleven. 194 00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:00,250 182. 195 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,083 It's very cute here. 196 00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:09,708 Then it's cheerful, I like it. You opened this a long time ago... 197 00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:12,041 But how... 198 00:21:12,708 --> 00:21:15,791 (man) I'm hungry! 199 00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:20,500 I am hungry! 200 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:24,208 What is it? Where are you taking me? 201 00:21:28,541 --> 00:21:31,250 Again, Professor Birker. 202 00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:41,333 - Welcome to your new home. - Thank you, Professor Birker. 203 00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:44,333 - Birkermaier! - Birkermaier. 204 00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:47,375 Sorry, I didn't have breakfast. 205 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:52,583 - What does the diet consist of? - Nothing, twenty days of fasting. 206 00:21:52,791 --> 00:21:58,083 - No eating, no drinking. - But how? No eating? 207 00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:03,958 Sorry, Professor Birkermaier. So what is that toilet for? 208 00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:08,958 On the sixth day of treatment, Fantozzi was exhausted. 209 00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:13,166 You, mafia, spaghetti and black moustaches, how's it going? 210 00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,583 Good, professor. 211 00:22:22,291 --> 00:22:24,875 Since when have you stopped eating spaghetti? 212 00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:28,000 I don't remember it anymore. 213 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,791 - Six days? - Six. 214 00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:38,416 Very good! 215 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:44,458 To take good care, It takes great willpower. 216 00:22:45,583 --> 00:22:50,500 - All right, professor. - He who has no will... 217 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:54,916 (whip cracks) Aah! 218 00:22:57,083 --> 00:23:00,708 (whip cracks) Ouch! 219 00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:16,375 Look. 220 00:23:16,583 --> 00:23:18,916 Ouch! Ouch! 221 00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,583 Compassion! 222 00:23:23,583 --> 00:23:26,833 To develop great willpower, 223 00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:31,125 I invite one of your comrades every evening at my dinner. 224 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:33,833 I eat, he watches. 225 00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:37,416 He watches and I eat. 226 00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:41,708 Whoever touches the food, "kaput"! 227 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:45,291 He couldn't resist. 228 00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:50,083 He stole and ate a crumb of bread that was on my tablecloth. 229 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:53,125 But I saw... In short. 230 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:56,791 Do you want to be my guest tonight? 231 00:23:57,041 --> 00:24:00,416 Thanks, but tonight I have an engagement with an aunt. 232 00:24:00,666 --> 00:24:02,458 You write his name. 233 00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:06,750 What name does he write? No, look at that... No! 234 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,375 - Please. - Professor. 235 00:24:09,583 --> 00:24:11,583 You come. 236 00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:17,625 Sitting. 237 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,250 Please, sit down. 238 00:24:28,583 --> 00:24:32,333 - Where did you sit? - Where he told me. 239 00:24:32,541 --> 00:24:36,791 - Here. - She told me... 240 00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:43,791 What good do we have tonight? 241 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,166 What's good? 242 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,041 Bavaria meatballs! 243 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:05,916 Potato heart, flour, flavourings. 244 00:25:11,416 --> 00:25:14,666 Too bad you can't eat. 245 00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:19,166 Four types of meat, ham, cheese, eggs. 246 00:25:21,416 --> 00:25:25,541 You remember your comrade what did he eat? Aaah! 247 00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:29,291 A bit'. 248 00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:35,708 It melts in your mouth. 249 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,708 One bite, one meatball. 250 00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:55,916 A meatball, a glass of... 251 00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:06,833 King's wine... 252 00:26:11,291 --> 00:26:13,500 Of the Rhine Valley. 253 00:26:51,791 --> 00:26:53,875 Wine from... 254 00:26:54,875 --> 00:26:56,875 Of... 255 00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:02,291 Wine... 256 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:07,125 - Do you eat? - No. 257 00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:10,166 Do you eat? Nurses! 258 00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:15,125 Nurses, he eats! He eats everything! 259 00:27:15,333 --> 00:27:17,750 He eats! 260 00:27:20,375 --> 00:27:23,708 (TV) Italy-Argentina, the revenge of a World Cup. 261 00:27:23,916 --> 00:27:28,958 One Wednesday, one month later, everyone they were tuned to a single channel 262 00:27:29,166 --> 00:27:33,416 for the deferred chronicle of rematch between Italy and Argentina. 263 00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:38,416 Fantozzi was on the front line. Armchair, coffee table in front of the TV, 264 00:27:38,625 --> 00:27:41,916 flannel dressing gown, spaghetti being cooked, 265 00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:44,791 cold beer and free burp. 266 00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:50,416 Pina, bring them al dente to me! 267 00:27:59,708 --> 00:28:02,166 If Bettega plays well, they're screwed. 268 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:06,083 Then there are Cabrini, Causio with his numbers 269 00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:08,916 and Benetti who is a beast. 270 00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:14,750 Kill how many! Oh well, starting tomorrow I'll go on a diet. 271 00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,708 What does it smell like? 272 00:28:21,458 --> 00:28:24,333 It's my new perfume, "Temptations". 273 00:28:24,541 --> 00:28:28,208 New perfume? You've never perfumed yourself! 274 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:33,458 - Once you have to start. - What are you saying? Have you become stupid? 275 00:28:33,666 --> 00:28:36,083 - Careful, shoot! - Because you... 276 00:28:36,291 --> 00:28:41,875 you haven't consumed liters of lavender When did you have all your rounds? 277 00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:51,250 - How did you get dressed? - For this one hairdo, called Slap, 278 00:28:51,458 --> 00:28:54,208 I went to the hairdresser for two hours. 279 00:28:54,416 --> 00:28:58,083 Then get disheveled, so you don't look like a human being. Go! 280 00:28:59,125 --> 00:29:01,583 What does he do? Has he gone mad? 281 00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:07,125 - I have to tell you something important. - Not the result of the match! 282 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:11,083 It's not the result. It's something more important. 283 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:15,541 (TV) Penalty kick against Italy! - At least for me. 284 00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:19,416 (TV) It could be the turning point of the match. - Ugo, please. 285 00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,625 - Penalty against Italy. - It's important. 286 00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:28,083 Ugo, you can't imagine how important it is. 287 00:29:28,291 --> 00:29:31,750 (TV) Here he takes a running start, the shot goes off... Saved! 288 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,541 Tie! Kempes, saved! 289 00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:41,250 - Now listen to me. - Already. 290 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:44,125 It's really important, Ugo! 291 00:29:44,333 --> 00:29:47,416 I'll give you twenty seconds of hearing, speak! 292 00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:52,625 I fell in love with another man. 293 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:56,333 Oh well, now you said it. Go, it's the game. 294 00:29:58,125 --> 00:30:02,375 Let me be at peace. Causio tunnel. These assholes! 295 00:30:03,166 --> 00:30:07,000 At the twenty-first of the second half, Fantozzi realized. 296 00:30:07,208 --> 00:30:10,416 Are you telling me like this, you damn bitch? 297 00:30:13,041 --> 00:30:15,666 Have you fallen in love with someone else? 298 00:30:16,583 --> 00:30:19,291 Pina, I'll kill you! 299 00:30:20,958 --> 00:30:26,666 What are you doing there? I'll kill both of them. I'll kill you! 300 00:30:26,875 --> 00:30:29,875 Actually, do you know what I do? I'll kill myself. 301 00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:35,583 So I'll screw you. I want to see How do you survive without... 302 00:30:38,958 --> 00:30:44,083 Pina, call an ambulance. 303 00:30:44,291 --> 00:30:47,083 I stabbed myself with the fork. 304 00:30:47,291 --> 00:30:52,666 No, Ugo, it's useless for you to do it comedy to impress me. 305 00:30:52,875 --> 00:30:55,083 I love him. 306 00:30:56,208 --> 00:31:00,375 I believe our history has now run out. 307 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:06,625 Careful, I've already separated the beds! (thud) 308 00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:19,416 Fantozzi argued with his wife all night. 309 00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:24,000 In the end he decided to hold calm and civil behavior. 310 00:31:24,791 --> 00:31:28,000 Everyone will know and they'll take the piss out of me. 311 00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,625 I'll have to change cities, friends. 312 00:31:36,250 --> 00:31:39,833 - Cuckold! - Excuse me, how do you know? 313 00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:42,041 I just know it! 314 00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:57,291 - Good morning, accountant Fantozzi. - Good morning. 315 00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,791 - How is it going? - Very good. 316 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:05,583 - Then let's cheat! - If he has I want to tease, it's not my day. 317 00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:08,666 What's wrong with her? What happens? 318 00:32:11,541 --> 00:32:16,458 - Puccettone, let's have a cappuccino at the bar? Can you offer me a croissant? - Ah! 319 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:18,666 The pin! 320 00:32:22,541 --> 00:32:26,666 I'm not offering a damn thing! Eat your own horns. 321 00:32:26,916 --> 00:32:29,583 - What's wrong? - He's nervous, let's go. 322 00:32:29,791 --> 00:32:31,833 Certain. 323 00:32:49,083 --> 00:32:53,083 Hello, Pina? The thing has already toured the city. 324 00:32:53,291 --> 00:32:57,500 Everyone in the office knows it. Tell me who he is. 325 00:32:57,708 --> 00:33:01,875 Pina, don't piss me off. I want to know who your lover is! 326 00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:06,500 Pina, I'm going to the Personnel Office, I quit and screw you... 327 00:33:06,708 --> 00:33:08,958 Hello, Pina? 328 00:33:09,166 --> 00:33:11,208 But damn... 329 00:33:12,875 --> 00:33:16,041 Fantozzi decided to find out for yourself. 330 00:33:17,166 --> 00:33:19,250 Ugo, I'm going. 331 00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:23,333 Are you coming back? 332 00:33:24,708 --> 00:33:27,708 - I'm just going shopping. - All right. 333 00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:37,125 Took a day off, he waited for Pina to come out 334 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:40,875 and began to rummage the house looking for clues. 335 00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:43,541 A letter, a photograph. 336 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:08,125 At this point he was caught from a slight suspicion. 337 00:35:42,458 --> 00:35:46,708 (Cecco) Take this, blonde! (customer) Give me the sugar too. 338 00:35:46,916 --> 00:35:49,458 (Cecco) Sure. Do you know who she reminds me of? 339 00:35:49,666 --> 00:35:53,791 Donatella "Erection", that of "Splendid Shining". 340 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,916 Good morning! Did she double-face her hair? 341 00:35:59,416 --> 00:36:05,458 Beautiful lady, what do I give you today? The loaves or the whole loaf? 342 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:11,208 That's three kilos. Do I stick it in his bag? 343 00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:19,083 If he comes back in the afternoon, I'll do them find a special loaf. 344 00:36:19,291 --> 00:36:24,208 - A lot for his teeth. - Then I'll be back in the afternoon. 345 00:36:24,416 --> 00:36:30,541 - Is five o'clock okay? - For her the special loaf is always there. 346 00:36:31,083 --> 00:36:34,708 (sings) I'm diabolical in intercourse, 347 00:36:34,916 --> 00:36:38,750 disproportionate for sex size 348 00:36:38,958 --> 00:36:41,833 and if I find the right woman... 349 00:36:42,041 --> 00:36:46,125 It was Cecco, the nephew of the baker next door. 350 00:36:46,333 --> 00:36:48,791 He was a hideously pockmarked 26 year old 351 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:54,166 with a very low ass and a breath terrible, like a Calcutta sewer. 352 00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:03,333 - Dad, don't you watch television? - I'm tired of life now. 353 00:37:03,541 --> 00:37:07,041 - What are you doing? Do you smoke? - Yes and I also drink. 354 00:37:09,833 --> 00:37:12,375 - What is it? - A lower incisor. 355 00:37:12,583 --> 00:37:17,583 - Where is Mommy? - Mummy must have gone out to buy... 356 00:37:19,291 --> 00:37:21,375 of bread. 357 00:37:22,291 --> 00:37:25,833 Darling, sit next to your father. 358 00:37:27,916 --> 00:37:31,333 Love, now you are... 359 00:37:33,666 --> 00:37:35,750 You're great. 360 00:37:35,958 --> 00:37:41,916 If mother, who is as good as bread, should he leave us, what will become of us? 361 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:46,250 Don't worry, dad. We will be together all our lives. 362 00:37:46,458 --> 00:37:49,583 Just you and me. 363 00:37:53,083 --> 00:37:58,958 Then the pain became unbearable and decided to end it. 364 00:39:15,625 --> 00:39:18,625 (Cecco sings) 365 00:39:22,916 --> 00:39:25,500 (crack) 366 00:39:40,625 --> 00:39:42,791 (Cecco sings) 367 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,916 Oh God, it kills him. Hate! 368 00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:09,666 Um... Um... 369 00:40:09,875 --> 00:40:13,583 Can I talk to her man to man? 370 00:40:13,791 --> 00:40:15,916 She has to answer to me. 371 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:19,208 She has to answer to me! 372 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:30,875 - You have to answer to me... - Uncle Antonello takes care of the accounts. 373 00:40:31,125 --> 00:40:33,333 All right. 374 00:40:36,083 --> 00:40:39,208 - Forgive me. - Who are you? 375 00:40:39,416 --> 00:40:45,416 I am the accountant Fantozzi, husband of Mrs. Pina Fantozzi. 376 00:40:46,708 --> 00:40:50,708 It's the one with the 700,000 lire of debt. 377 00:40:50,958 --> 00:40:56,416 - What do you do with all this bread? - Ask your nephew. 378 00:40:56,666 --> 00:41:00,916 You are threatening my lady. 379 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,666 - Which lady? - My wife. 380 00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:05,916 - Your wife? - Yes. 381 00:41:06,166 --> 00:41:08,583 She is the monster collector! 382 00:41:08,791 --> 00:41:12,166 It has a small monster and the longest monster. 383 00:41:12,416 --> 00:41:16,791 You will be satisfied to have completed such a beautiful collection. 384 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,166 Bravo! Everyone here talks about you. 385 00:41:20,375 --> 00:41:24,458 When you arrive, "Fantozzi!" (raspberry) 386 00:41:25,291 --> 00:41:30,625 We thought that Mrs worked at the Circo Togni. 387 00:41:30,875 --> 00:41:34,333 The only thing you can do it's a trip to Lourdes. 388 00:41:34,583 --> 00:41:39,833 All three! Take a dip in the pool and wait for the miracle. 389 00:41:40,666 --> 00:41:44,125 - Then you don't take it away from me. - Take her away? 390 00:41:44,375 --> 00:41:48,625 Only street cleaners take it away if you leave it in the garbage. 391 00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:53,791 - It's the only way because with you the fate was mocking. - Thank you. 392 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:59,166 Thank you! Then you are a witness. 393 00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:01,916 We agree, don't take her away. 394 00:42:02,125 --> 00:42:04,333 - What the fuck are you talking about? - How? 395 00:42:04,583 --> 00:42:10,708 They don't know who he is. Do you have a photo? Take a photo of the monster. 396 00:42:10,958 --> 00:42:15,875 - My wife's? - Yes. Let it pass a nice evening to these people. 397 00:42:16,083 --> 00:42:19,541 They never have fun, always closed in the shell. 398 00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,791 - Show the photo of the monster! - Here you are. 399 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:28,458 - We did this in Riccione. - Look! Do you know what this is? 400 00:42:28,666 --> 00:42:32,750 It is the synthesis of misfortune, the apotheosis of rubbish. 401 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,291 Look and laugh too that you never laugh. 402 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:39,875 Here. 403 00:42:40,083 --> 00:42:43,166 - Give me the photo. - Make them laugh! 404 00:42:43,375 --> 00:42:46,958 Come on, show him. 405 00:42:47,166 --> 00:42:50,458 - Give me the crap. - Give me the photo. 406 00:42:50,666 --> 00:42:52,750 He took her away. 407 00:42:52,958 --> 00:42:58,291 Since your wife likes it the loaf, bring this too. 408 00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:06,625 You know what? You don't understand anything about women! 409 00:43:06,833 --> 00:43:09,208 Mine is beautiful! 410 00:43:09,416 --> 00:43:14,125 Do you know what? I won't buy never again bread from you. 411 00:43:14,375 --> 00:43:17,375 - Phantoms? - Yes? (raspberry) 412 00:43:17,625 --> 00:43:20,583 Thanks. 413 00:43:26,500 --> 00:43:29,833 I talked to that young man. 414 00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:33,333 I had a very civil conversation. 415 00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:39,916 We had an exchange of views and he was really understanding. 416 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:45,083 Poor guy! He fell in love like a beast. 417 00:43:45,291 --> 00:43:51,000 He's crazy about you, he finds you a woman beautiful. Very sexy! 418 00:43:51,208 --> 00:43:56,291 I liked you very much to all his friends. 419 00:43:56,500 --> 00:44:00,166 They find you extraordinary. 420 00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:04,166 Now he is... 421 00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:09,875 He would also be willing to give up 422 00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:13,666 because he doesn't want to ruin a family. 423 00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:19,708 But, as you well understand, the final decision is yours. 424 00:44:21,833 --> 00:44:23,916 What do you do then? 425 00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:31,958 I've already decided, Ugo. 426 00:44:32,166 --> 00:44:38,333 I'll stay with you... because I respect you very much. 427 00:44:38,541 --> 00:44:41,250 Yes, but love, no? 428 00:44:47,166 --> 00:44:52,666 Help me put the beds together. The large sheet is in the closet. 429 00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:58,708 Pina, I'm happy because I understand that it's all over. 430 00:45:03,416 --> 00:45:06,916 It seemed like a morning like the others. 431 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:16,083 Instead the irreproachable secretary of the hereditary director 432 00:45:16,291 --> 00:45:20,291 he left his office with sad news. 433 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:23,708 They called, that's for sure! 434 00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:29,041 The hereditary director he has rubella! 435 00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:32,416 The hereditary director he was 106 years old. 436 00:45:32,625 --> 00:45:35,958 That childhood disease it could have been fatal to him. 437 00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:40,583 The employees welcomed the news with compound pain. 438 00:45:40,791 --> 00:45:43,291 (together) Hooray! 439 00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:56,958 Fantozzi thought that occasion she had to be helped by any means. 440 00:45:57,166 --> 00:46:00,708 Good morning, Mr. Priest. 441 00:46:00,916 --> 00:46:03,250 You're welcome, son. 442 00:46:04,541 --> 00:46:09,541 - I would like to have a mass said. - For or against someone? 443 00:46:10,916 --> 00:46:16,083 - Against. - On the other hand it costs three times as much, 30,000. Cantata, 50,000. 444 00:46:16,291 --> 00:46:20,583 - Sung. - You hate him a lot, son. 445 00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:29,625 To that initiative of Fantozzi, others followed, like... 446 00:46:29,875 --> 00:46:33,625 Giant rosaries in the canteen. 447 00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:37,083 - Hail Mary... - Hail Mary... 448 00:46:42,083 --> 00:46:44,125 They were granted. 449 00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:52,000 Fantozzi showed up at the funeral in total mourning. 450 00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:05,708 - Madam, did you happen to see... - Aaah! 451 00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:08,833 Wait. 452 00:47:09,166 --> 00:47:11,250 Wait. 453 00:47:11,458 --> 00:47:15,291 Stay calm. I understand your pain, but leave me. 454 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,708 Let go of my arm. 455 00:47:51,166 --> 00:47:53,166 Who takes the cash? 456 00:47:53,416 --> 00:47:56,125 - I! - I'm bringing it too. 457 00:47:56,375 --> 00:47:58,375 I'll take it too. 458 00:48:15,083 --> 00:48:19,250 - Accountant, I don't understand. Did she have a husband? - Who? 459 00:48:19,458 --> 00:48:22,958 - The count. Do you see the crown? - I don't know, find out. 460 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:27,208 Sorry, this is the funeral of Count Vignardelli Bava? 461 00:48:27,416 --> 00:48:29,750 No, widow Ricci. 462 00:48:30,666 --> 00:48:32,958 Accountant, we had the wrong funeral. 463 00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:35,875 - Why? - This is the widow Ricci. 464 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:42,166 - Is it the widow Ricci? - No, Lieutenant Gambardella. 465 00:48:42,375 --> 00:48:45,125 Lieutenant Gambardella? 466 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:58,666 Here you are! 467 00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:03,666 - Sorry, ma'am... - No, Filini! 468 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:07,250 - Be careful! - Leave me, lady! 469 00:49:07,458 --> 00:49:11,458 - Leave me! What does he do? - Wait. 470 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,958 Hey, where are you? Where are you? 471 00:49:24,666 --> 00:49:28,791 - Filini, let's go! It's dangerous. - I'm coming. 472 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,791 Careful! 473 00:49:32,041 --> 00:49:38,666 The two reached the right funeral in a monstrous delay. 474 00:49:38,916 --> 00:49:44,791 In front of this forged golden stone with the fusion of wedding rings 475 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,708 donate spontaneously employed by you faithful, 476 00:49:49,916 --> 00:49:54,083 according to will of the illustrious deceased... 477 00:49:55,958 --> 00:49:58,958 I announce the name of his successor. 478 00:49:59,166 --> 00:50:03,500 Your new total director it will be... 479 00:50:05,041 --> 00:50:07,750 - It will be... - Hmm? 480 00:50:08,041 --> 00:50:10,416 - It will be... - Hmm? 481 00:50:11,333 --> 00:50:16,125 Dr. Eng. Great Scoundrel of Great Croc, 482 00:50:16,333 --> 00:50:19,541 Viscount Cobram. 483 00:50:19,791 --> 00:50:21,750 No! 484 00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:32,041 Among all, that of Viscount Cobram it was the most feared name. 485 00:50:32,250 --> 00:50:34,666 It was the cycling race. 486 00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:37,875 As a young man he had been a mediocre cyclist. 487 00:50:38,083 --> 00:50:40,458 At 18 he joined the company 488 00:50:40,666 --> 00:50:44,166 and he had made his way along the way the ass licker and the spy. 489 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:47,041 Now, having achieved power, he wanted 490 00:50:47,250 --> 00:50:51,416 that they practiced cycling all its employees. 491 00:50:51,625 --> 00:50:57,916 Cycling is a healthy sport. It is against old age and disease. 492 00:50:58,166 --> 00:51:03,333 But above all it gives great clarity and efficiency at work. 493 00:51:04,416 --> 00:51:07,708 - Tennis instead? - It sucks. 494 00:51:07,916 --> 00:51:11,583 - It's stuff for ladies. - Like fagots! 495 00:51:12,458 --> 00:51:15,375 - Football? - Well, football... 496 00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:19,416 - What? - Well, that sucks. 497 00:51:19,625 --> 00:51:22,500 - A vomit! - Yes. 498 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,583 Good! 499 00:51:27,791 --> 00:51:32,458 I also want to tell you that I feel sorry for them and I disgust the employees 500 00:51:32,708 --> 00:51:36,083 who come to the office in the car 501 00:51:36,291 --> 00:51:40,875 and in the evening they run to lock themselves up in those sardine cans 502 00:51:41,083 --> 00:51:44,916 instead of doing a nice trip out of town. 503 00:51:46,166 --> 00:51:48,666 - Her! - I? - No, her, back there. 504 00:51:50,666 --> 00:51:53,625 I? Didn't want to talk to him? 505 00:51:55,125 --> 00:52:00,791 - Me, okay. - At the 1931 Milan-Sanremo 506 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:05,041 Piedmontese came third, Second War... 507 00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:08,583 - And first? - First? Primo Carnera. 508 00:52:10,916 --> 00:52:13,625 What is punching? 509 00:52:14,875 --> 00:52:17,375 It's... Punching. 510 00:52:17,583 --> 00:52:21,916 Therefore, it is called "punching" when... 511 00:52:22,875 --> 00:52:28,083 - I don't remember anymore. - He doesn't remember it anymore. 512 00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:30,333 (laughter) 513 00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:33,750 It seems to me... 514 00:52:33,958 --> 00:52:38,416 It could be hypothesized that the punching is a bad deed. 515 00:52:38,625 --> 00:52:42,500 When you say: “He gave him a great punch.” 516 00:52:42,708 --> 00:52:46,208 Ah, yes! When a swarm of bees... 517 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:49,708 No, it is a regional dish from Abruzzo. 518 00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:54,291 A regional dish from Abruzzo. 519 00:52:54,541 --> 00:52:56,708 (laughter) 520 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:02,625 Then he will answer me... 521 00:53:04,083 --> 00:53:06,208 He will answer me... 522 00:53:06,416 --> 00:53:08,416 Stop! 523 00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:13,333 Punching is the assignment of racing numbers. 524 00:53:13,583 --> 00:53:16,208 Things will change here. 525 00:53:16,458 --> 00:53:22,291 You don't know what awaits you, damned spineless people! Out! 526 00:53:22,541 --> 00:53:26,625 Unfortunately they knew what awaited him. 527 00:53:26,833 --> 00:53:31,083 They improvised as cyclists or they were screwed. 528 00:53:43,083 --> 00:53:46,791 - Let's go! Let's go! - Shh! Stop. 529 00:53:55,041 --> 00:53:59,666 Ready? Among our Martano and the Spanish Trueba 530 00:53:59,875 --> 00:54:03,041 it was a good duel in August '34. 531 00:54:03,250 --> 00:54:07,416 - It was June. - June '34. Sorry, I made a mistake. 532 00:54:07,625 --> 00:54:12,708 June, Trueba. Nicknamed the Pyrenean Flea. 533 00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:16,041 Where are we going tonight? to do the trick? 534 00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:19,416 - Where are we going? - Let's go around the lakes. 535 00:54:19,625 --> 00:54:23,000 No, let's go around of the seven hills. 536 00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:28,750 No, let's go have dinner at my aunt's to Pinerolo and we return at night. 537 00:54:28,958 --> 00:54:34,916 (softly) It's 1,200 km. - What is 1,200 km? 538 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:37,583 - What are they? - Nothing. 539 00:54:37,791 --> 00:54:42,750 - So, gentlemen, everyone in Pinerolo! (together) In Pinerolo! 540 00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:50,083 (softly) Where did he put his car? 541 00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:54,208 - Around the corner, near yours. - Let's go on this trip. 542 00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:57,750 - In Pinerolo! - In Pinerolo. 543 00:55:08,166 --> 00:55:12,375 - Let's go to Pinerolo. - In Pinerolo! He believed it. 544 00:55:13,458 --> 00:55:15,833 Cobram! (raspberry) 545 00:55:16,083 --> 00:55:20,625 - Here's the kick! - Let's go! 546 00:55:20,875 --> 00:55:25,083 - A trip? - Tié! Tie! 547 00:55:25,333 --> 00:55:27,625 - Let's go home. - Stop! 548 00:55:48,791 --> 00:55:54,458 Let's go step by step. As a first release, 20 km will be enough. 549 00:55:54,666 --> 00:55:58,125 - Twenty? - In the saddle! 550 00:55:58,375 --> 00:56:01,083 In the saddle, on the Bersagliere. 551 00:56:10,208 --> 00:56:13,458 No! One moment. 552 00:56:14,791 --> 00:56:18,375 (Fantozzi) Mister dog! No, engineer! 553 00:56:20,291 --> 00:56:22,291 (growl) 554 00:56:36,333 --> 00:56:39,916 The devil is not so ugly as you think. 555 00:56:40,125 --> 00:56:45,583 Yes, I did 20 km without suffering. My muscles feel loose... 556 00:56:55,291 --> 00:56:57,500 Good evening, accountant. 557 00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:01,666 (thud) 558 00:57:19,916 --> 00:57:26,625 Three hours later Fantozzi had some slight difficulty in movement. 559 00:57:33,916 --> 00:57:37,916 Pina, help me! I can't reach the handle. 560 00:57:42,833 --> 00:57:47,666 There's something wrong with me to the elementary joints. 561 00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:55,125 The next day in the canteen a platoon of super-crippled men entered 562 00:57:55,333 --> 00:57:57,458 of all wars. 563 00:57:57,666 --> 00:58:02,791 They were the tragic participants to training the night before. 564 00:58:13,791 --> 00:58:16,041 - Can you give me meat? - The cutlery. 565 00:58:16,250 --> 00:58:20,166 - There's no meat? - I don't know, keep the potatoes. 566 00:58:20,375 --> 00:58:22,458 I wanted meat. 567 00:58:26,500 --> 00:58:29,208 - Wine! - Wine? 568 00:58:29,416 --> 00:58:31,416 Yes, wine. 569 00:58:35,208 --> 00:58:38,416 - Wine. - Ready. 570 00:58:42,333 --> 00:58:44,333 Thank you. 571 00:58:44,541 --> 00:58:48,166 (Fantozzi) I would like fruit. - No, he already has potatoes. 572 00:58:48,375 --> 00:58:51,833 - At least the bread. - Okay, here's the bread. 573 00:58:57,666 --> 00:58:59,708 Attention! 574 00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:04,125 I have great news to give you. 575 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:08,625 In 15 days, Sunday 28 July, I'll give it away 576 00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:15,166 the first cycling Cobram Cup for the employees of our company 577 00:59:15,375 --> 00:59:18,625 over a distance of 40 km. 578 00:59:18,833 --> 00:59:21,000 But... 579 00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:24,500 - 50? - 50. 580 00:59:26,208 --> 00:59:30,208 - Is something wrong? - No, everything is fine. In fact, it's not much. 581 00:59:30,416 --> 00:59:33,958 - 55? 60? - 70. 582 00:59:34,166 --> 00:59:36,708 Please sign up everyone! 583 00:59:39,041 --> 00:59:42,583 I recommend her, train! 584 00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:45,208 The evening before the fateful day 585 00:59:45,416 --> 00:59:50,208 Fantozzi and Filini did a miserable, desperate attempt. 586 00:59:50,416 --> 00:59:53,500 - Is he ready? - No, I would like to retire. 587 00:59:53,708 --> 00:59:56,333 - Then he wants to compete in the Cup. - No! 588 00:59:56,541 --> 00:59:59,208 It's very easy, I prepared the text. 589 00:59:59,416 --> 01:00:04,125 You just have to read. Now I'll show you how to do it. 590 01:00:07,750 --> 01:00:12,083 - "Hello? Viscount Cobram?" Disguise your voice. - Yes. 591 01:00:12,291 --> 01:00:16,291 - "I am Doctor Bergman Valadier." - That would be me. 592 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:20,500 "I visited your employees Filini and Fantozzi" 593 01:00:20,708 --> 01:00:23,916 "and I found Ménière's syndrome." 594 01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:29,541 "I therefore forbid them to participate to his beautiful sporting initiative" 595 01:00:29,750 --> 01:00:32,875 "otherwise I decline every responsibility." 596 01:00:33,083 --> 01:00:35,208 Thanks and good evening. 597 01:00:35,416 --> 01:00:38,166 - Easy. - But he didn't dial the number. 598 01:00:38,375 --> 01:00:40,708 - Do you want to participate in the Cup? - No! 599 01:00:40,958 --> 01:00:45,500 So, come on! Let's disguise the voice, clothespin. 600 01:00:45,708 --> 01:00:49,125 Clothes peg. Potato. 601 01:00:49,375 --> 01:00:52,750 Open your mouth. Funnel. 602 01:00:52,958 --> 01:00:57,625 Hold it. Towel covering. 603 01:00:58,583 --> 01:01:00,666 And now... 604 01:01:00,875 --> 01:01:04,375 Let's squeeze. Is he breathing? 605 01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:09,708 This is the copper basin, this is the text. Huh? I do not understand. 606 01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:14,625 - Do I do a Swedish accent? - Can you do it? You “do” it, okay. 607 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:17,083 I'll dial the number. 608 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:20,375 Three, four, 609 01:01:21,250 --> 01:01:26,041 seven, eight, one. 610 01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:29,208 In the hollow! 611 01:01:29,416 --> 01:01:32,083 - Ready? - Fantozzi, is it you? 612 01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:41,583 Happy? He ruined everything for me. Swedish accent! 613 01:01:44,666 --> 01:01:46,708 (incomprehensible sentence) 614 01:01:46,958 --> 01:01:50,208 - I don't understand. - I feel like throwing up. 615 01:01:50,458 --> 01:01:54,708 - Imagine! - Listen, I would like to give one last kiss... 616 01:01:54,958 --> 01:01:59,250 To the baboon... To the Barbary Macaque. At the Albertina. What is his name? 617 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:02,583 - Mariangela, my daughter. - Go. 618 01:02:15,375 --> 01:02:19,083 No. Here is my angel. 619 01:02:23,041 --> 01:02:25,583 Goodbye, darling. 620 01:02:41,375 --> 01:02:43,500 Well done! 621 01:02:45,166 --> 01:02:47,166 Well done! 622 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,041 Bomb? I have the bomb, the good one. 623 01:02:53,250 --> 01:02:57,708 Bomb? I have the bomb, the strong one. Do you want it? 624 01:02:57,916 --> 01:03:00,833 - Here it is. - What's inside? 625 01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:04,625 Metedrine, symmine, aspirin, "franceschina", cocaine 626 01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:08,458 and cayenne pepper. Do you want it? 100,000. 627 01:03:08,666 --> 01:03:11,083 - I'll take it. - All right. 628 01:03:11,291 --> 01:03:15,000 With this you come first and it also makes you "come on". 629 01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:17,625 Who wants the bomb? 630 01:03:25,375 --> 01:03:27,708 - Well done! - Good. 631 01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:31,958 - Attention, get ready! - Greetings, Mr. Duke. 632 01:03:35,416 --> 01:03:37,541 Runners, get in the saddle! 633 01:03:43,583 --> 01:03:47,250 - The ambulance? - Sure, just in case. 634 01:03:49,291 --> 01:03:51,500 Puccettone! 635 01:03:51,708 --> 01:03:55,791 - Participate in the Cup. - Calboni, did you hurt yourself? 636 01:03:56,000 --> 01:04:01,416 I'm not an asshole like you. I am caused a bilateral fracture. 637 01:04:01,666 --> 01:04:04,500 So they put me on refueling. 638 01:04:06,916 --> 01:04:09,708 - Why is this? - You never know. 639 01:04:09,916 --> 01:04:14,625 - However, in case I will let you know the lady. - If it could be avoided. 640 01:04:14,958 --> 01:04:18,708 Attention! Ten seconds left. 641 01:04:28,250 --> 01:04:31,333 Our Father who art in heaven... 642 01:04:32,041 --> 01:04:34,125 (whistle) 643 01:04:35,041 --> 01:04:37,125 Watch out! 644 01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:43,875 Get up, idiots! Soften up! 645 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,250 Get them up! 646 01:04:49,208 --> 01:04:51,416 Get on him! 647 01:04:55,750 --> 01:04:58,458 See you getting up? Well done! 648 01:04:58,708 --> 01:05:01,041 Come on, let's go! 649 01:05:15,125 --> 01:05:17,708 On the little hill of Viale De Amicis, 650 01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:21,166 then named tragically "Devil's Summit", 651 01:05:21,416 --> 01:05:24,708 they encountered the inevitable storm 652 01:05:24,916 --> 01:05:28,208 theater of every Mountain Grand Prix. 653 01:05:30,916 --> 01:05:35,208 At the epicenter, 50 degrees below zero. 654 01:05:35,416 --> 01:05:38,416 (whistling wind) 655 01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:56,416 The surveyor Belli who looked like at one hour he was lost in the fog. 656 01:05:56,625 --> 01:06:00,625 It was sold in pieces in a local supermarket. 657 01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:04,208 Four. 658 01:06:15,125 --> 01:06:19,583 - Accountant, are you on the run? - No, broken brakes! 659 01:06:20,791 --> 01:06:23,750 Help! Oooh! 660 01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:51,916 What is it? Male children. Where is it the groom? It doesn't matter, let's sing. 661 01:06:52,125 --> 01:06:55,583 (sings) But what do we care if it goes wrong. 662 01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333 Here's dad, he's still alive. Come on! 663 01:07:14,583 --> 01:07:19,625 At the second start of the climb they were struck by fatigue symptoms. 664 01:07:20,333 --> 01:07:22,333 Asphyxia. 665 01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:25,333 Ball eyes. 666 01:07:28,625 --> 01:07:30,958 Cardiac arrests. 667 01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:34,375 Plush tongues. 668 01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:39,333 Northern lights, mirages. 669 01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:45,000 Now dehydrated, Fantozzi thought about be the victim of a hallucination. 670 01:08:18,916 --> 01:08:20,916 But... 671 01:08:21,916 --> 01:08:24,083 Holy shit! 672 01:08:29,750 --> 01:08:31,750 (shot) 673 01:08:42,625 --> 01:08:45,625 - Here. - Do you want to go up? 674 01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:49,291 No, later. 675 01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:52,333 Good morning. 676 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:03,416 On the second passage through the storm, a fan moved with compassion. 677 01:09:18,541 --> 01:09:21,000 Oh God, I can't see anymore! 678 01:09:21,250 --> 01:09:23,791 Stop, stop! 679 01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:37,541 May I introduce the surveyor Vannini? 680 01:09:37,750 --> 01:09:39,791 - It's me. - Let's sing. 681 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:44,833 (they sing) Now let's see, tomorrow who knows! 682 01:09:45,083 --> 01:09:49,666 Few survivors reached the longed-for refueling. 683 01:09:49,875 --> 01:09:52,375 - Come closer! - Here! 684 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:58,375 Quick, Pina! Pull! 685 01:10:03,333 --> 01:10:05,875 - To me! - To me! 686 01:10:15,375 --> 01:10:19,416 The Cobram Cup had become an elimination race. 687 01:10:19,625 --> 01:10:24,583 There were two left to contend the final victory by any means, 688 01:10:24,791 --> 01:10:27,000 even the most disloyal. 689 01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:15,291 Go more slowly, for pity's sake. 690 01:11:15,541 --> 01:11:17,208 Accountant! 691 01:11:18,291 --> 01:11:20,291 Hate! 692 01:11:27,833 --> 01:11:30,958 Do you allow? Accountant Colzi. Let's sing! 693 01:11:31,166 --> 01:11:34,833 (they sing) But what do we care if it goes wrong. 694 01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:40,500 - It's Fantozzi! - Well done! 695 01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:57,666 At the end of July, at 11 in the morning, 696 01:11:57,916 --> 01:12:02,375 Fantozzi had been mysteriously convened with his colleague Filini 697 01:12:02,583 --> 01:12:06,875 by the master director Duke Count Piermatteo Barambani. 698 01:12:07,083 --> 01:12:10,750 For the occasion he had worn a new dress 699 01:12:10,958 --> 01:12:14,708 and he had decided to have an invigorating coffee. 700 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:18,708 Holy shit! It always screws me. 701 01:12:18,916 --> 01:12:22,750 Calm down, Fantozzi. Just push here. 702 01:12:23,875 --> 01:12:27,250 Here's your coffee. 703 01:12:28,208 --> 01:12:30,250 View? 704 01:12:31,416 --> 01:12:36,041 Be careful with your coffee, I have a new dress. I can? 705 01:12:36,250 --> 01:12:38,791 - I have a new dress. - It's new, huh? 706 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:43,375 Yes, I have to go to Barambani and he wants everything... No! 707 01:12:43,583 --> 01:12:46,916 It's empty! Were you scared, Puccettone? 708 01:12:47,125 --> 01:12:50,000 What jokes! I'm going to drink coffee there. 709 01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:52,416 Yes, assholes, laugh. 710 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:57,916 I have to go to Barambani. If you he sees with a speck, he is capable... 711 01:12:58,125 --> 01:13:00,958 - Is Fantozzi there? - It was here. 712 01:13:04,666 --> 01:13:07,583 - Is Fantozzi there? - It was there. 713 01:13:07,791 --> 01:13:10,791 - When they look for him, he's never there. - Calboni! 714 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,791 Little Puppet, what are you doing? They were looking for you. 715 01:13:14,583 --> 01:13:18,291 I thought: "I'm going to the corner to drink a coffee..." 716 01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:20,708 - Did you see him? - No. 717 01:13:22,875 --> 01:13:26,166 Drinking a coffee. 718 01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:42,625 Accountant Fantozzi, finally! 719 01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:47,375 Sorry for the delay, but I had a curious accident with a coffee. 720 01:13:47,583 --> 01:13:50,875 - Why did he summon us? - I don't know. Does she know? 721 01:13:51,083 --> 01:13:54,166 - No. - Go over there. 722 01:13:55,875 --> 01:13:58,000 Let's hope so. 723 01:14:00,416 --> 01:14:02,833 Please. Hate! 724 01:14:03,625 --> 01:14:07,458 - What are you doing? - I thought you wanted to dance, sorry. 725 01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:10,916 Permit. 726 01:14:23,541 --> 01:14:28,750 - Dear Bambacci! Dear Follini! - Fantozzi and Filini. 727 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:31,291 What are you doing next weekend? 728 01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:35,958 We thought we would stay in the company to do a little overtime. 729 01:14:36,208 --> 01:14:42,333 I have a little boat. It costs me a billion, but I'm also a Democrat. 730 01:14:42,583 --> 01:14:45,375 My family is you poor people. 731 01:14:45,625 --> 01:14:48,916 - How? - You unfortunates. 732 01:14:50,916 --> 01:14:54,041 You inferiors. That's the right word. 733 01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:59,125 My dear inferiors! As well you know, I love beggars very much. 734 01:14:59,375 --> 01:15:06,125 - Will you be my guests on the my little boat? - He does and so do I. 735 01:15:06,375 --> 01:15:10,416 Great, now go out from the balls. Take a seat. 736 01:15:11,291 --> 01:15:16,541 Thank you, Marquis Duke Count, of preference really... 737 01:15:16,750 --> 01:15:19,166 Moved! Let's go. 738 01:15:29,375 --> 01:15:31,375 (Filini) Watch out! 739 01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:36,416 Damn, accountant Fantozzi, what did he do? 740 01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:40,208 - I didn't see him, I was looking at the boats. - Poor thing! 741 01:15:40,416 --> 01:15:43,041 - Did he get hurt? (speaks in English) 742 01:15:43,250 --> 01:15:46,250 - He's English. Do you speak English? - Yes. 743 01:15:46,458 --> 01:15:49,583 - Ask him if he was hurt. - So... 744 01:15:49,791 --> 01:15:52,375 - What did he say? - "Did he get hurt?" 745 01:15:52,583 --> 01:15:55,041 (in English) What time is it? - Fuck you! 746 01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:57,416 - What did he say? - Okay. 747 01:15:57,625 --> 01:15:59,916 - Where is the boat? - Here it is! 748 01:16:03,041 --> 01:16:06,083 Dear ones! Dear inferiors! 749 01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:08,458 Well arrived! 750 01:16:08,666 --> 01:16:12,666 - Good morning, Duke Marquis. - Good morning, Mr. Admiral. 751 01:16:12,875 --> 01:16:16,791 - We have to go up here. - Yes, please. 752 01:16:17,041 --> 01:16:20,208 (Fantozzi) Come on. - No, you first. 753 01:16:20,458 --> 01:16:22,500 - No, her. - You go. 754 01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:27,000 - "Come up"! Don't be afraid. - I'll go, but I'm a rookie. 755 01:16:32,208 --> 01:16:34,625 (in English) Fuck you! 756 01:16:40,916 --> 01:16:43,208 Accountant, what did you do? 757 01:16:44,250 --> 01:16:46,291 So, op! 758 01:16:46,500 --> 01:16:48,833 Thus, op. 759 01:16:50,708 --> 01:16:53,208 - Leaks water. (Barambani) What is he doing? 760 01:16:53,416 --> 01:16:59,375 - I wanted to freshen up. - He did well. Embark. 761 01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:03,625 - After her. - I would like to retire from this cruise. 762 01:17:03,833 --> 01:17:06,791 No. I approach it with caution. 763 01:17:13,750 --> 01:17:15,833 "Come"! 764 01:17:16,083 --> 01:17:18,875 I don't feel very sure, but... 765 01:17:24,208 --> 01:17:27,833 Here, one more step. Excellent! 766 01:17:28,750 --> 01:17:31,875 Come on, Filini, I did it! 767 01:17:32,541 --> 01:17:34,666 Holy shit! 768 01:17:36,041 --> 01:17:39,375 Sorry, you don't think so that he has an attraction for her. 769 01:17:39,583 --> 01:17:43,625 And here, dear poor people, this is the bow part. 770 01:17:43,833 --> 01:17:49,416 You've seen my boat, mine small house. "Parva sed apta mihi." 771 01:17:49,625 --> 01:17:53,958 Here I am happy, even in your company. Ah! 772 01:17:54,166 --> 01:17:56,708 - What is it? - The shoes! 773 01:17:56,916 --> 01:18:00,208 I have to ask you the courtesy to take off your shoes. 774 01:18:00,416 --> 01:18:02,541 Boats are like mosques. 775 01:18:04,083 --> 01:18:06,250 We remove them. 776 01:18:07,333 --> 01:18:10,041 - Let's take off our shoes. - Yes. 777 01:18:16,458 --> 01:18:18,833 Give them to me. 778 01:18:20,208 --> 01:18:21,625 Voila! 779 01:18:24,833 --> 01:18:29,875 - Be patient... - Go to change in the crew cabin. 780 01:18:30,125 --> 01:18:34,458 - Some guests. - Very good. For the shoes there is no hope. 781 01:18:35,416 --> 01:18:40,583 Permit. Sorry... We get stuck, we run a serious risk. 782 01:18:40,833 --> 01:18:42,666 Permit. 783 01:18:48,208 --> 01:18:50,750 Watch your head. 784 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:55,250 Accountant Filini, watch your head. 785 01:19:02,166 --> 01:19:07,708 - One more thing, inferiors. In boat there are no slackers. - No. 786 01:19:07,916 --> 01:19:10,291 There are many little things to do. 787 01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:15,041 We will divide the tasks because on a boat everyone is the same. 788 01:19:15,291 --> 01:19:22,291 Now, dear guests, let's do it a nice toast to our cruise. 789 01:19:53,375 --> 01:19:56,666 Because... I mean, I'm going. 790 01:19:56,875 --> 01:19:58,916 With permission. 791 01:20:03,458 --> 01:20:09,875 Let's set sail! Filini, pull up the anchor. Bambocci, cast off your moorings. 792 01:20:10,083 --> 01:20:13,666 - Fantozzi. - Yes, Fantocci. Cast off your moorings! 793 01:20:16,291 --> 01:20:19,625 - Filini, block him. - Yes. 794 01:20:20,958 --> 01:20:26,875 - Bambocci, "untie" the top. - Yes, it's this one. No, it's that one. It's this. 795 01:20:27,125 --> 01:20:30,875 - Not that, the bollard top! - The bollard. 796 01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:35,708 Hurry up, Dummies! 797 01:20:38,958 --> 01:20:41,000 Then I'll explain. 798 01:20:42,666 --> 01:20:46,291 - Filini, remove the fenders. - I go. 799 01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:48,958 (mermaid) 800 01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:52,833 Did you hear those trumpets? 801 01:21:04,250 --> 01:21:06,708 - What is this button? - It's the speed. 802 01:21:06,916 --> 01:21:09,083 - This? - Right engine. 803 01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:11,708 - Right engine. - Left engine. 804 01:21:11,916 --> 01:21:14,166 - Commutator. - This? 805 01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:17,833 No! (mermaid) 806 01:21:18,041 --> 01:21:24,041 - He has a strong voice. - It's ultra-powerful, 18,000 megasounds. 807 01:21:29,583 --> 01:21:34,375 Here I am, Mr. Count, there is a very slight roll. 808 01:21:35,916 --> 01:21:38,750 Very light, but very insistent. 809 01:21:38,958 --> 01:21:41,958 - Very... - Beccacci, pour me out! 810 01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:46,291 I'm getting closer. It's very insidious. 811 01:21:47,208 --> 01:21:51,750 - What are you doing? It's my wine! - It's fresh. 812 01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:54,583 Here I am. 813 01:21:54,791 --> 01:21:56,791 Wait. 814 01:22:14,166 --> 01:22:16,375 - Hey there! - Here we are! 815 01:22:19,750 --> 01:22:24,333 (Barambani) Let's anchor here! Ready for the maneuver! 816 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,250 Fuck that hawser! 817 01:22:28,958 --> 01:22:31,333 I did not understand. Like "dicks"? 818 01:22:31,583 --> 01:22:35,583 - Fuck that hawser! (Filini) Damn, otherwise he'll get pissed. 819 01:22:35,791 --> 01:22:40,166 Is this it? Oh well, fuck it then. 820 01:22:40,375 --> 01:22:45,208 - Do I do three laps or four? - What are you doing? Fucks! You tie her up, you fix her. 821 01:22:45,458 --> 01:22:50,375 - I stare at her. I don't remember... - Take the boat hook. 822 01:22:50,625 --> 01:22:54,416 - Where is the hookah? - Did you see a little sailor? 823 01:22:54,625 --> 01:22:56,583 - No. - Is he a Sardinian? 824 01:22:56,833 --> 01:23:00,541 - Look for him behind the pole. - Go behind the pole. 825 01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:03,666 Behind the pole! Ah, the pole! 826 01:23:03,916 --> 01:23:07,916 The pole! (they sing) 827 01:23:08,125 --> 01:23:10,833 To the winch! Filini, drop the anchor! 828 01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:14,083 You, Mamozzi, to the anchor of respect! 829 01:23:14,333 --> 01:23:17,375 My name is Fantozzi. 830 01:23:17,583 --> 01:23:20,708 Go! This is very dangerous. 831 01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:23,000 Good morning, ma'am. 832 01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:27,833 (Barambani) Bacherozzi, hurry up, my boat is spinning. 833 01:23:28,041 --> 01:23:32,458 Wait. This comes... Here it is. 834 01:23:59,791 --> 01:24:02,500 Accountant Fantozzi, what did you do? 835 01:24:02,708 --> 01:24:07,708 - I wanted to freshen up. - Yes? 836 01:24:07,916 --> 01:24:10,916 - How's the water? - She's gorgeous. 837 01:24:11,125 --> 01:24:15,333 - I almost take a dive me too. - Do it! 838 01:24:15,541 --> 01:24:18,166 Track! 839 01:24:19,833 --> 01:24:22,458 (thud) 840 01:24:32,083 --> 01:24:34,375 Accountant, are you okay? 841 01:24:39,166 --> 01:24:44,041 Be careful, with this lady I have had an unforgettable experience. 842 01:24:53,458 --> 01:24:57,458 Ah! Skeet shooting. Filini, the rifle! 843 01:24:58,750 --> 01:25:02,166 - Be careful, it's loaded! - Is it loaded? 844 01:25:02,375 --> 01:25:05,708 - Puppets! Do you have the score? - I treated him... 845 01:25:05,916 --> 01:25:10,875 - Where's the score? The scorekeeper. - There he is! You point it at the duke. 846 01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:15,291 - Ready? Dish! - Dish. 847 01:25:22,583 --> 01:25:25,625 - What dish did he throw? - That. 848 01:25:25,875 --> 01:25:29,041 It was a silver platter, Eighteenth century English! 849 01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:33,791 - Eighteenth century English? I... - Take your dishes to the galley. 850 01:25:34,041 --> 01:25:38,916 - Let's have a competition, two dishes each. Shot in the barrel! - Here? 851 01:25:40,541 --> 01:25:44,208 - You start. - You point it... 852 01:25:44,458 --> 01:25:48,125 - Practical, right? - No, it's not practical. 853 01:25:48,333 --> 01:25:53,083 - It's not much... Meanwhile I... - Bacherozzi, where are you going? 854 01:25:53,291 --> 01:25:55,833 You score the runs, you throw the dishes. 855 01:25:56,041 --> 01:25:58,291 Filini, ready to shoot! Dish! 856 01:25:58,500 --> 01:26:01,041 The dish is ready. Dish! 857 01:26:03,541 --> 01:26:06,125 - Missed! - I am sorry. 858 01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:08,416 I told her... 859 01:26:08,666 --> 01:26:11,791 - Another shot, ready? - Yes. 860 01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:14,333 - Dish! - Dish! 861 01:26:15,583 --> 01:26:17,583 Missed! 862 01:26:20,916 --> 01:26:25,208 - Missed! Missed. - Missed again. 863 01:26:25,416 --> 01:26:27,458 I really write "missed". 864 01:26:27,708 --> 01:26:31,708 - Bambozzi, now you shoot. - I? No, I prefer... 865 01:26:31,916 --> 01:26:35,833 - Take the rifle, it's your turn. - Give me the score. 866 01:26:36,083 --> 01:26:38,375 - Come on, Filini, dish! - Here you are. 867 01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:41,375 - Ready, Cagnacci? Dish! - Go! 868 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:52,833 - Keep the rifle. - Make everything disappear! 869 01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:57,041 Let's get out of here. Hide everything, let's set sail! 870 01:26:58,625 --> 01:27:00,958 Pay attention to your head. (beat) 871 01:27:01,208 --> 01:27:03,583 Pay attention to your head. (beat) 872 01:27:03,833 --> 01:27:08,041 On the return journey Duke Count Barambani, 873 01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:14,250 due to a damned engine failure, he divided the tasks with his guests. 874 01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:24,916 At the end of the summer, faced with the tragic prospect 875 01:27:25,125 --> 01:27:28,125 of a new year of disgusting work, 876 01:27:28,333 --> 01:27:34,000 Fantozzi was overcome by the usual crisis of intolerance and rebellion. 877 01:27:38,833 --> 01:27:41,583 The mega president is an asshole! 878 01:27:43,166 --> 01:27:47,166 Sometimes I wish I could write it in the sky. As! 879 01:27:50,458 --> 01:27:52,458 As? 880 01:27:52,708 --> 01:27:55,750 (alarm) 881 01:27:59,166 --> 01:28:03,250 (employee) What's going on? - Look! 882 01:28:03,500 --> 01:28:07,500 (employee) How is this possible? - Come and see! 883 01:28:13,083 --> 01:28:15,541 (employee) It's a joke! 884 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:21,625 The Grand Council of the Ten Absents he subjected them to calligraphic expertise. 885 01:28:21,833 --> 01:28:25,500 - What do they do? - They get that sentence written. 886 01:28:25,708 --> 01:28:29,125 - That's bullshit. - It's her turn. 887 01:28:35,166 --> 01:28:38,750 Did you see what the sentence is? It doesn't give confidence. 888 01:28:41,875 --> 01:28:43,833 Give it to me. 889 01:28:49,833 --> 01:28:52,291 No, it's not him. 890 01:28:53,375 --> 01:28:56,291 - Go. - Thank you, I salute you. 891 01:28:56,541 --> 01:28:59,500 - Go! - Excuse me. I salute you too. 892 01:28:59,708 --> 01:29:01,916 Get out now! 893 01:29:03,166 --> 01:29:07,541 - Would you like to go out, please? - Next one! 894 01:29:38,291 --> 01:29:40,500 It closed. 895 01:29:41,666 --> 01:29:47,083 - Write that vile sentence. - I don't have hands. 896 01:29:47,291 --> 01:29:50,875 - What are these? - They're paralyzed. 897 01:29:51,125 --> 01:29:54,625 - Don't be a fool, write. - By car? 898 01:29:54,833 --> 01:29:57,250 I don't have a pen. 899 01:29:58,708 --> 01:30:01,083 These are for parades. 900 01:30:02,208 --> 01:30:04,208 Write! 901 01:30:05,375 --> 01:30:10,708 - With the right. - Here, with the right. Then I write. 902 01:30:10,916 --> 01:30:13,541 Here we are, ready. 903 01:30:14,625 --> 01:30:17,416 - I'm illiterate. - Write! 904 01:30:17,666 --> 01:30:20,916 I write. Just like... 905 01:30:24,833 --> 01:30:29,000 Here, I also added the exclamation point. 906 01:30:42,083 --> 01:30:45,041 - It's him. - You got a written judgment! 907 01:30:45,291 --> 01:30:48,666 - I don't know. - I'll have her hunted down and massacred! 908 01:30:48,875 --> 01:30:53,125 - I'll tear it to pieces and I'll send it to Olbia! - Wait. 909 01:30:53,375 --> 01:30:57,083 I'll rip off your ears and arms and legs, I put them in my suitcase 910 01:30:57,291 --> 01:31:02,041 and I'll send them to Olbia! - I'll cut it in four and I'll send it to Olbia! 911 01:31:02,291 --> 01:31:08,458 - In Olbia you have established the new collection center? - How? 912 01:31:08,708 --> 01:31:11,041 - You bastard! - You scoundrel! 913 01:31:11,250 --> 01:31:13,541 - Bastard! - Buffoon! 914 01:31:19,625 --> 01:31:22,208 Mega President Archangel! 915 01:31:23,250 --> 01:31:25,916 Please take a seat, dear Fantozzi. 916 01:31:30,208 --> 01:31:32,583 It was you, right? 917 01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:43,791 I knew it. 918 01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:46,833 Please. 919 01:31:48,833 --> 01:31:50,958 Pina! 920 01:31:51,166 --> 01:31:55,875 You will be happy to have your wife close at the moment. 921 01:31:58,250 --> 01:32:02,416 - You are convinced of that what did he write about me? - I... 922 01:32:02,625 --> 01:32:07,291 I didn't write it, I just thought so. 923 01:32:07,500 --> 01:32:12,125 You don't have to think, Fantozzi. This is his mistake. 924 01:32:13,916 --> 01:32:16,791 Come with me. 925 01:32:18,875 --> 01:32:22,500 Come on, gates. 926 01:32:29,583 --> 01:32:31,791 Well done, Fantozzi. 927 01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:36,166 Now you write that about yourself who wrote about me. 928 01:32:46,125 --> 01:32:49,625 No, remove "a little". 929 01:33:04,541 --> 01:33:07,333 Well done, Fantozzi. 930 01:33:07,583 --> 01:33:11,666 Please don't delete it. 931 01:33:11,916 --> 01:33:14,208 Very kind, sire. 932 01:33:22,541 --> 01:33:24,750 Do you see much? 933 01:33:25,583 --> 01:33:28,791 Not much, then just don't look. 934 01:33:29,041 --> 01:33:32,000 Yes, just don't read. 935 01:33:32,208 --> 01:33:35,375 Anyway they disgraced me, holy shit! 936 01:33:35,583 --> 01:33:40,291 But they won't be able to take me out because I have a characteristic. 937 01:33:40,500 --> 01:33:44,666 They don't know it. I am indestructible and do you know why? 938 01:33:44,875 --> 01:33:49,791 I'm the biggest loser of all the times. I always lost everything. 939 01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:53,750 Two World Wars, a colonial empire, 940 01:33:53,958 --> 01:33:56,625 eight consecutive World Cups, 941 01:33:56,875 --> 01:34:00,416 purchasing ability, trust in those who govern me. 942 01:34:07,541 --> 01:34:12,583 And I lost my mind to a monster... for a woman like you. 943 01:34:15,208 --> 01:34:19,375 There he is! He arrives! (laughter) 944 01:34:29,291 --> 01:34:32,833 Laugh, yes! Laugh, laugh! 945 01:34:33,750 --> 01:34:37,041 (Fantozzi) He who laughs last laughs best. 946 01:34:38,041 --> 01:34:40,625 I am a successful man. 947 01:34:40,875 --> 01:34:43,666 - Phantoms! - Say. 948 01:34:43,916 --> 01:34:46,458 (raspberry) 949 01:34:46,666 --> 01:34:51,750 Oh well, agreed. Successful, no. But at least let's say I'm lucky. 950 01:34:53,458 --> 01:34:58,750 What am I missing? I have everything. I have a wonderful house with fair rent, 951 01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:01,708 a 99-channel remote control. 952 01:35:02,708 --> 01:35:05,291 I have a wonderful daughter. 953 01:35:05,541 --> 01:35:09,291 Wonderful and a faithful wife. 954 01:35:09,500 --> 01:35:13,750 I am the happiest of all. I want to play! Move over, Mariangela. 955 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:18,875 I'm for-tu-na-tis-si-mo. 956 01:35:25,458 --> 01:35:27,875 (thud)